Theme by nostrich.
pandora played panic’s “miss jackson” this morning, and then i got into the car and heard about GWay’s new single right before i switched statios and heard FOB’s “centuries” and i literally shouted “AM I BACK IN 2007 WTF?!?!” in my car (with my windows down) so loudly that the guy in the car next to me heard and called out, “Are you okay lady?”
Chicago - Northside, IL
by An Edgewater Nerd
An Edgewater Nerd Copr. 2014. All Rights Reserved.
Question with 1 note
chicago-bluebonnet said: yeah but he's not like all those OTHER dads. he's a COOL DAD.
You heard it here first, guys. Gerard Way: cool dad.
The old white dudes that are in charge of everything are scared as fuck of YOU.
There are a lot of abuse and recovery stories out there in fandom. A lot of them are written by people who’ve never been in an abusive relationship. That’s fine, that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t write it, especially when it’s present in canon. Unfortunately, it does mean that a lot of people get it wrong.
The usual abuse narrative you see in fandom is a story about absence. The lack of safety. The lack of freedom. The lack of love, or of hope, or of trust. They try to characterize the life of an abused kid, or an abused partner, based on what’s missing. They characterize recovery based on getting things back: finding safety, discovering freedom, and slowly regaining the ability to trust—other people, the security of the world, themselves.
That doesn’t work. That is not how it works.
Lives cannot be characterized by negative space. This is a statement about writing. It’s also a statement about life.
You can’t write about somebody by describing what isn’t there. Or you can, but you’ll get a strange, inverted, abstracted picture of a life, with none of the right detail. A silhouette. The gaps are real but they’re not the point.
If you’re writing a story, you need to make it about the things that are there. Don’t try to tell me about the absence of safety. Safety is relative. There are moments of more or less safety all throughout your character’s day. Absolute safety doesn’t exist in anyone’s life, abusive situation or not.
If you are trying to tell me a story about not feeling safe, then the question you need to be thinking about is, when safety is gone, what grows in the space it left behind?
Don’t try to tell me a story about a life characterized by the lack of safety. Tell me a story about a life defined by the presence of fear.
What’s there in somebody’s life when their safety, their freedom, their hope and trust are all gone? It’s not just gaps waiting to be filled when everything comes out right in the end. It’s not just a void.
The absence of safety is the presence of fear. The absence of freedom is the presence of rules, the constant litany of must do this and don’t do that and a very very complicated kind of math beneath every single decision. The lack of love feels like self-loathing. The lack of trust translates as learning skills and strategies and skepticism, how to get what you need because you can’t be sure it’ll be there otherwise.
You don’t draw the lack of hope by telling me how your character rarely dares to dream about having better. You draw it by telling me all the ways your character is up to their neck in what it takes to survive this life, this now, by telling me all the plans they do have and never once in any of them mentioning the idea of getting out.
This is of major importance when it comes to aftermath stories, too. Your character isn’t a hollow shell to be filled with trust and affection and security. Your character is full. They are brimming over with coping mechanisms and certainties about the world. They are packed with strategies and quickfire risk-reward assessments, and depending on the person it may look more calculated or more instinctual, but it’s there. It’s always there. You’re not filling holes or teaching your teenage/adult character basic facts of life like they’re a child. You’re taking a human being out of one culture and trying to immerse them in another.
People who are abused make choices. In a world where the ‘wrong’ choice means pain and injury, they make a damn career out of figuring out and trying to make the right choice, again and again and again. People who are abused have a framework for the world, they are not utterly baffled by everyone else, they make assumptions and fit observations together in a way that corresponds with the world they know.
They’re not little lost children. They’re not empty. They’re human beings trying to live in a way that’s as natural for them as life is for anybody, and if you’re going to write abuse/recovery, you need to know that in your bones.
Don’t tell me about gaps. Tell me about what’s there instead.
Post with 1 note
Like 2 weeks ago someone invited me to see a band I don’t care about tonight and bought me a ticket, but now I don’t want to go, I want to hide under a blanket and drink tea and watch Netflix.
Don’t let his vote decide what’s best for you. - MK
When the dust settled after DashCon, we were left with thousands of dollars worth of debt. Because this, among many others reasons, DashCon LLP is being dissolved and assets being liquidated. Once the assets are liquidated, each debt will be paid pro rata, meaning that there’s a possibility the debts won’t be paid in full, but each will be paid the same percentage of what’s owed. We don’t know how long this process is going to take, but it’s fair to say it could be up to 90 days. Apologies for the further delays. This has all become a bit of a legal ordeal.There has been a lot of speculation that DashCon LLP has changed its name to Emoti-Con or So Attacked Entertainment LLC. That, however, is inaccurate. Two of the three owners of DashCon, Cain and Megg, are now functioning as So Attacked Entertainment LLC, which will be hosting an event called Emoti-Con. Despite Cain and Megg’s involvement, neither So Attacked Entertainment LLC nor Emoti-Con is in any way affiliated with DashCon.Thank you for your patience while we try to resolve these final matters. Apologies that we are unable to give a more definite timeline on payment. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
This just in: failure is expensive!
i’m so upset
I just realized that the reason ghosts say Boo! is because it’s a latin verb
they’re literally saying ‘I alarm/I am alarming/I do alarm!!
if it comes from the latin word, they’re actually saying “I’M YELLING!” which is even cuter
do they speak latin because it’s a dead language
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